LUMPY NEWS
While the kids frolicked in the chilly waters of Lake Michigan, the round-robin was contested under blazing skies, in near-triple-digit temps and in the teeth of gusting winds.
Beth and Jim were there:
As was Seabird:
And other new
friends:
The
results varied widely. Jim had the best day of our group, winning 4 of 5 in
pool play -- good enough to advance to the Sweet Sixteen if he was so
inclined (which he wasn't). Beth split four matches before taking note of
the heat and bagging her fifth match.Dave's matches were erratic -- an opening 3's loss was followed by a "grudge match" with Noreen against Beth and Jim which Beth & Jim won easily. An 11-6 win in the third match (all matches were single-game, sideout scoring to 11) was followed by an 11-0 blowout win in a 3's match. A .500 finish was, alas, a mirage in the sand, as the fifth match was a 4-11 loss that wasn't that close.
Noreen had the worst luck of anyone, finishing 1-4. 3 of those 4 losses, however, were by 10-12 scores and in each case hers was the longest match on the beach (in the other loss, of course, she got stuck with me as a partner). She finally broke through in her Game 5...
...just
in time to call it a day.
For more pics, check out the Bonedigger 2005 gallery in
photos.
LUMPY'S CHILI DAY OF VOLLEYBALL
(February 27, 2005) -
The Sideouts Snowball Tournament came close to fulfilling the promise of its
name on Sunday, or at least closer than it did two years
ago.
In chilly, drizzly conditions LUMPY took to the semi-snow-caked courts at
Sideouts to enjoy some sizzling volleyball action!
Yeah, right.
Mostly there was
a lot of sitting around (see pictures), guzzling the Budweiser and chili (both vegetarian
and
meaty) that was part of the package price. LUMPY managed four games (and a forfeit win) in the six or
so hours spent at the venerable County-line establishment. The first two
games were brief affairs, as LUMPY trounced a pair of mismatched opponents,
dispatching them in 15 minutes each. The third game was, if anything, even
briefer. This time, however, our heroes were on the short end of the stick
by a 21-3 count (yikes!). It was back to the chili to await the final game
of pool play ... which never came. LUMPY's final pool opponent had child care
issues and was forced to make an early exit.
The 3-1 pool record gave LUMPY a pass into the tournament Final Four, but alas, they went nae further. Dwayne "The Bathtub" Emdroughnen and his posse took LUMPY out in a hard-fought but frigid affair. In all, LUMPY was just as glad to get out of the sleet and out of town. Sideouts, we'll see you in May!
NIGEL RALLIES FOR FALL LEAGUE SHOW-ING
(October 28, 2004) - On the last night of the Summer/Fall Men's 4s circuit,
the hardy band of cutthroat volleyballers known as NIGEL
finally broke through with their first match sweep since May 27th, bouncing
betting favorites Dumpster Juice 3-0 to finally drag their record across the
.500 line. Far from
collapsing in a heap, though, our heroes kept it up
for the second match of a scheduled doubleheader.
This time the trouncees were the aptly named Thunder Lizards. These erstwhile Masters of the Mesozoic jumped to an early lead in Game 1, but in the end NIGEL proved to be too much for the fusty foursome, making it a clean 6-0 doubleheader sweep -- the first time for this since October 16th of last year.
This timely return to form garnered NIGEL a second straight third place Fall League showing. Once again, Sideouts super-honcho Little Jerry was on hand to present NIGEL with their hard-fought hardware (left). This time, NIGEL 's newest member Bjorn was the recipient of the Third-Place trophy, receiving a hearty handshake and sincere congratulations from both Jerry and longtime Sideouts ref and F.O.L. (F.O.B. as well?) Buck. Notice the special limited edition NIGEL Fall League touque sported by Jerry. He desperately wanted to keep it, but of course only four were ever made -- one for each of the Fantastic (Above .500) Four.
MARY PARTY FEATURES PRESENTS, AND A WAITRESS WITH "PRESENCE"
(April
24, 2004) - Erstwhile LUMPY-chick
Mary celebrated a birthday
(think we're gonna say which? -- Forget it!) in fine style at well-known LUMPY haunt Sideouts, with
LUMPY teammates, friends, hangers-on and more than one, er, "enhanced"
waitress.
It was a night of much merriment for all involved. Perhaps a little too much merriment on occasion -- as the photo on the left may well attest. Keep your eyes on the prize, Debbie! Or is that just the natural reaction when the Jager hits?
Speaking of prizes, it seems pretty clear that Sideouts honcho Little Jerry has laid down some Seinfeldesque requirements for his waitresses. The collected NIGEL brainpower in the room could not remember any Sideouts waitresses with quite the, ummmm, attributes shown by the party's dedicated waitress that night (right).
In the end, jugs and jugs of good drink were quaffed, along with good food (the melon platter was particularly well received), and Mary received many gag gifts and booby prizes. She and her friends milked the affair for all it was worth, and then made their way home with many great mammaries.
Uh, memories.
LUMPY
MAJOR-DOMO RATES MAJOR PRESS
ATTENTION
(January 9, 2004) - LUMPY founder Norb launched an all-out press blitz with a recent appearance on the cover of Business Solutions magazine. While landing a cover spot on this revered publication would be enough for most, such is not the case for this self-described "glory hound." "This is only the beginning," vowed the pony-tailed provider of powerful servers at a lower price. "Within the next few months expect to see my radiant visage glowing from the covers of every major periodical from 'Time' to 'Tiger Beat.'"
What does this media cavalcade have to do with volleyball? Nothing, really. At least until you dig a little deeper under the surface of the Storage Area Network (SAN) world. The inner dimensions, if you will, where enterprise-class SANs show themselves to be nothing less than the data storage equivalent of the flawless pass, the perfect set, or the powerful hit. It is in these dimensions where the man known in volleyball circles as "The Flying Camel" finds his karmic center. "As I've always said, American Digital maintains a sharp focus on the types of environments it's willing to work in. The same is also true for LUMPY. The environments LUMPY is willing to work in are sand and Astro-Play. When we go onto hardcourt surfaces, we get away from our 'sweet spot' and we lose our edge, just like AD loses it's edge when it moves away from its sweet spot of UNIX-heavy shops. As I get older and wiser, it becomes ever clearer to me that the dog-eat-dog world of selling high-ticket solutions is really the cosmic equivalent of the dog-eat-dog world of advanced/intermediate sand and/or Astro-Play volleyball. How's THAT for a friggin' philosophy?"
IT'S OVER! FOR NIGEL ...
(September 5, 2003) - In an anti-climactic ending to NIGEL's
2003 summer season, the boys made like the 2001 Bears -- posting a stellar
regular-season
mark, only to have it tarnished by a playoff flame-out.
Kings of Fa raised their game by a good 25% by adding a fifth player for the playoffs. This turned out to be more than enough to take the measure of our overmatched heroes -- turning them into overmatched zeros in a two-game drubbing. Fa King Mike Broker (right) -- incensed by his own incendiary pre-game remarks (as quoted last week in LUMPY News) -- was eager to send NIGEL home early from the playoffs yet again.
The going was tight in Game One, with both teams alternating 3-5 point runs. From 17-17, Kings of Fa reeled off three straight to go up 20-17. NIGEL took the next point, but their rally was thwarted and the Kings moved from that 20-18 lead on to a 25-22 victory.
Game Two was never in doubt. NIGEL looked tentative and confused, making mistakes that were capitalized on by their scrappy opponents. Once the Fa lead ballooned to 20-10, it was only a matter of time. A lead like that is very difficult to overcome in this age of international volleyball rules, and this game proved no exception to that rule.
While NIGEL wished their opponents good luck in
the rest of the tournament, such luck was hard to come by for the bandy-legged
Kings. Their semifinal match against Six-Pack started out well, but the
first game tied a Sideouts record for most points scored by both teams, and
unfortunately for the Kings they wound up on the short end of a 27-26
score. The second game wasn't nearly as close, and the Kings extended
their season only slightly longer than NIGEL.
Despite the playoff flameout, however, NIGEL was rewarded for their fine 33-9 second-place regular season effort with a nice plaque to match their second-place plaque from last fall's league. Sideouts head honcho Jerry was persuaded both to award the plaque and to take part in a very touching ceremony (left) at which he and Dan shared a hearty handshake and a smile (broad and beaming in Dan's case, sly and furtive in Jerry's case.)
Regardless, NIGEL looks forward to regrouping for the fall season at Sideouts, where they will be forced to find a new fourth because...
...
AND FOR MARIANO
... NIGEL founding member Mariano has played what he claims is his last match for the Union Jack, taking that long, long walk to the Sideouts locker room for the last time (see right). He leaves under a cloud of controversy -- with his teammates uncertain whether the decision was really his or his "agent's." He leaves with a bitter taste as well, due to the desultory nature of the last match with his original NIGEL mates.
Perhaps it was this, though, that caused him to leave that locker room door slightly ajar -- leaving just the slightest hint that he might be back to fight again for the NIGEL cause. Only time will tell, but as of now Mariano joins Dean-O, "Slug," "The J," and all the other proud and/or disgruntled alumni of LUMPY / NIGEL / WYNOTT / SIMON / SYMON / TALKING TO WALLY / HAROLD SEZ.../ LUMPYREJECTS.
Enjoy retirement, Mariano -- NIGEL will never be the same!
IT’S ON!
(
NIGEL walked over
the hapless, helpless, and apparently clueless Four Horsemen in an
unprecedented first round playoff forfeit.
Meanwhile the “Fa Kings” were teaching Ignition Boyz to bow and scrape
before the Royal We-nees. Observant
volleyball fans have been pining for this matchup ever since the playoff
bracket was released earlier this week … now they have their wish!
Two personnel issues could cloud (hey, look at
that, an anagram! Damn, I’m good!) this
matchup, however. The NIGEL camp has been in
turmoil for the past two weeks, since Mariano’s startling announcement (well,
it was sort of his announcement) that this would be his last season with NIGEL. He followed that up by missing last week’s
season finale – even though he actually hadn’t left on vacation! Finally, he missed the first round playoff
match due to mysterious midnight machinations in Kankakee (of all places)! Will he be back for the titanic struggle vs.
the Kings? It’s anybody’s guess right now.
On the other side, Fa King head honcho Mike Broker
has vowed to bring in all his ringers to help knock off NIGEL. “Listen,” he was quoted as saying. “I’ll bend any rule, break any law, bribe
any ref, as long as it helps us to knock off NIGEL!” Over the years,
the results have validated his sneaky strategies, as NIGEL has dominated the
regular season matchups (8-4 since 1999), but dropped their only playoff
matchup (back in 1999’s playoff semis) – due to Broker’s pull-out-the-stops
cheating come playoff time. Well, Mike,
the whole world will be watching this time.
Bring on your ringer – NIGEL will come out swinging (hopefully with Mariano in
tow). IT’S ON!
LUMPY
DEFIES GENDER
CATEGORIES!
(
NIGEL BRINGS HOME THE HARDWARE!
(October 24, 2002) – An amorphous and polyglot
band of NIGEL
managed to snag second-place – and a mighty-fine plaque – in the Sideouts fall
men’s league. Seven “men” weighed in on
various nights for our heroes – (from L to R below, Sherm, Rick,
Noreen,
Dave,
Dan,
Mariano, and
Norb) – who stormed back from an
0-3 start to finish 19-5 and claim the penultimate Sideouts prize.
Squint if you have to, but check out the hardware below! Congrats, “boys!”
LUMPY OUT THEMSELVES AT NORTH AVE. BEACH!
(June 30, 2002) -- LUMPY had a summer outing at the real beach -- North Ave. beach -- for a day of fun, sun, volleyball, and very cold Lake Michigan water. A wide majority of the Laurx brothers were in attendance (including Dan of course), along with Noreen, Dave, Kerry, and various LUMPY and Laurx friends and family.
The sand was hot, and so was the volleyball action as various threesomes, foursomes and even fivesomes formed up, hooked up, and walked away gritty and sweaty. The grit and sweat were easily washed away in the icy depths (up to 3-feet!) of the nearest Great Lake.
The views of the city were as tremendous as ever...although the views of pudgy pink Euro-Boys (middle) were probably something we could all do without.
All
was well in the end, though, as Cait Gallagher and Tess Gallagher can attest to
as they enjoy the spectacular Chicago skyline while donning their rollerblades
for a hasty exit (right).
LUMPY at North Ave.
Beach Hey
Euro-Boy! Nice Package! Cait and Tess
Enjoy the Skyline
LUMPY TAKES SECOND PLACE IN SIDEOUTS "SNOWBALL" TOURNEY
(February 25, 2002) -- LUMPY took advantage of global warming to enjoy 60-degree weather on the way to a second-place finish in the Sideouts "Snowball" tournament. Their only losses came to Buck's team, a team liberally peppered with rules-flouters (see below) -- once in pool play and again in the hotly-contested final. Losing to a profoundly annoying team is never fun, and this tourney proved no exception. However, LUMPY still has the memory of their 21-10 takeout of the other pool's first-place team in the semifinals to warm them until the next Fiesta Days tournament. That and their fabulous Dr. McGillcuddy's touques (the second-place prize).
LUMPY HAS BIG FUN IN THE BIG EASY, DESPITE SUGAR BOWL RESULT
(January 2, 2002) -- LUMPY stalwarts Norb, Mary, Noreen and Dave gave it their all at the Nokia Sugar Bowl, along with many of LUMPY's favorite fans, but the unfortunate result was a season-ending "L" at the Superdome. Good fun was had, despite the record-setting bad weather in NO (as the pictures below can attest). Good luck again next year for the Big Ten Champion Fighting Illini!
LUMPY HEADS TO THE BIG EASY FOR FUN, FROLICS AND FOOTBALL
(December 26, 2001) -- With Christmas behind us, it's time for LUMPY to engage in the truly pagan ritual of a New Orleans New Year's Eve. Should LUMPY veterans Norb, Mary, Noreen and Dave survive that rite of passage they will be in the stands at the Superdome for the 145th running of the USF&G Sugar Bowl -- No, wait a minute, that's the 68th edition of the Nokia Sugar Bowl -- along with 10 more of their friends and relatives. The Illinois Fighting Illini plan on thoughtfully attending to their LUMPY guests' desires by trouncing the hapless Louisiana State Tigers.
WHAT'S UP AGAIN WITH LUMPY?
(December 26, 2001) -- No LUMPY schedule updates, this must mean that LUMPY is on an extended volleyball hiatus, right? WRONG! Fact is, parts of LUMPY are still in action (again as LUMPYREJECTS), even as the remaining LUMPY team casts about for a suitable playing site.
Noreen, Kerry and Dave have been playing with Sherm as LUMPYREJECTS at the Hoffman Estates North Beach for a couple of leagues now. Unfortunately, North Beach Honcho Bill Yedor has not seen fit to distribute written schedules -- preferring weekly e-mails. Not only has this caused many logistical problems, but it has made fearlumpy.com schedule- and record-keeping a nightmare.
What is even worse, however, is that the Hoffman Estates North Beach will soon be closing its doors to volleyball leagues as it removes one of its two courts. In an all too familiar story, the available indoor venues for sand volleyball continue to dwindle, as North Beach joins Volleyworld and Spikes in their shortsighted removal of sand courts. LUMPYREJECTS will probably make a move to the Downers Grove North Beach, which is - bizarrely - the only remaining indoor sand option in the area.
Norb, Mary and Dan have been frequenting Spikes on an irregular basis - even placing second in a recent tournament - and playing on their surrealistic Astro-Play surface. Even this indoor option appears certain to soon draw closed, as Spikes seems to be the next to give in to the inexorable tide of indoor soccer. With options dwindling, it appears as though the only recourse for LUMPY to return as a full-time cold-weather team will be to return to the hard courts.
WE ARE THE 3rd PLACE CHAMPIONS......MY FRIEND
LUMPY TURNS "FIESTA DAYS" INTO "FIESTA DAZE" WITH 3rd PLACE FINISH
(July 15, 2001 - McHenry) -- LUMPY is apparently still sponging off of the residue of their lone tournament with Jeff The Ref and the ever-good-looking Chaz, the 2000 Fiesta Days Tournament. Parlaying a second seed (based on their finish in last year's tourney) into a Third Place finish from only two wins, LUMPY again took home some McHenry County hardware (pictured below) at Fiesta Days 2001.
Team Conway won the tournament final for a third straight year, this time over a controversial entrant from Sideouts, as LUMPY could only watch....and eat eggroll after eggroll.
LUMPY started out quickly, beating Radiovan (sic) in quick fashion, 2 games to 0. Next up was Smith Engineering. The crafty engineers were tricky in their use of precise angles and a perfectly symmetrical ball, but eventually the sand gummed up the workings of their slide rules and LUMPY was able to breeze to another 2-0 victory.
That brought about a rematch of last year's final between LUMPY and Team Conway. Once again it was a "Fiesta Daze" for poor LUMPY, as Team Conway made short work of our embattled heroes for the second straight year. Sunday brought a new day, and a chance to move forward to a final round rematch with Team Conway. It was, however, not to be as Sideouts took advantage of a lackadaisical approach to tournament rules on the part of the Fiesta Days staff (talk about a "Fiesta Daze!") to send LUMPY to the showers once and for all.
In the end, though, this "effort" was enough to gain a place on the victors stage for LUMPY, as well as a photo-op with the lovely young "Miss Fiesta Days," Misty O'Lawdy (see below). During her meeting with LUMPY, Miss O'Lawdy was heard to remark: "Don't get too close, now," "My you all certainly are......filthy!," and "Any of y'all seen my ma?"
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS......MY FRIEND
LUMPYREJECTS CAPS SUNDAY NIGHT SUB JOB WITH CHAMPIONSHIP EFFORT, NACHOS
NACHOS AND BEER...TROPHY OF CHAMPIONS!
(June 4, 2001) -- LUMPYREJECTS (a.k.a. "Sand Fleas") joined a proud tradition of LUMPY-affiliated champions by smashing their way to six straight wins, three in the playoffs, capped off by a straight-set victory over top-seeded Ooh Dang! on Sunday night. Ooh Dang! was similar to so many other opponents in the LUMPYREJECTS run to the Sunday Night Co-ed 4's championship at North Beach Downer's Grove: confident beforehand, confounded afterwards and conquered through and through.
Noreen, Colleen, Sherm and Dave brought their disparate talents together with only one goal in mind: Win the title, and avenge their recent Wednesday night debacle! (Oh, wait, that's two goals) Only two goals in mind: Win the title, avenge their Wednesday night downfall, and match the recent Spikes championship of their LUMPY compatriots Dan, Norb and Mary. (Damn, that's three goals) Amongst their goals were such diverse elements as...Win the title, avenge their Wednesday flameout, match the LUMPY championship, get the Nacho trophy pictured above, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope! (Oh, never mind)
The play of the championship was surely Sherm's full-throttle, laid-out, one-handed, topspinning, one-hit from the left corner to save a sideout at 10-12 in the second game. From there, LUMPYREJECTS easily took the last five points from their disheartened opponents to win Game Two and the championship!
"WHERE IS LUMPY?"
TEAM'S INTERNATIONAL FAN BASE IS PERPLEXED BY LACK OF UPDATES & RESULTS, FEARS THE WORST
(January 24, 2001) -- The international beach volleyball community has been consumed in recent weeks by one question and one question alone -- "Whither LUMPY?" The fun and sun juggernaut seems to be in the midst of a mid-life crisis. Has a roving eye of sorts caused a permanent split in the LUMPY ranks? Not so, says LUMPY majordomo Norb. "In every relationship you come to a place where you need to find some space. A time when you need to grow apart in order to grow alone and then grow back together. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
Hmmm....not really, Norb, but consider these factors and events, then draw your own conclusions and take our LUMPYPoll.
· Dean-O tied the knot, then took a powder. He's rarely been seen since.
· Volleyworld made a pact with the devil, closing it's doors on volleyball in order to pursue a fling with indoor soccer and depriving the area beach volleyball scene of its most suitable (and centrally located) winter home.
· Norb and Mary were dead set on playing indoors at Spikes, a fetid and festering swamp of an indoor facility which is located a mere 5 minutes from their house. Dave and Noreen were equally dead set against a weekly 45 minute drive to play on the rocky sand of the Crystal Lake dump.
· Dave and Noreen wanted to play at North Beach, a refereeless facility a mere 5 minutes from their house. Norb and Mary had no interest in a long drive in order to argue over what constitutes a lift.
· As a result, at the moment LUMPY finds itself split four ways:
1. Norb, Mary and Dan signed a free agent woman and are competing at Spikes as LUMPY. In the proud LUMPY tradition they won the regular season crown in their first league, then flamed out in the playoffs.
2. Dave and Noreen have taken up with Sherm and Colleen -- on sabbatical from Misfits, a longtime LUMPY rival -- to form LUMPYMISFITS and are competing at North Beach.
3. Kerry has taken up with Samurai Sword Slammers, another longtime LUMPY rival, and is competing against LUMPYMISFITS at North Beach. Both teams are currently undefeated, but that will change as they meet for the first time next week (January 31).
4. Dean-O is still nowhere to be found. Anyone with knowledge of his whereabouts is encouraged to contact LUMPY as soon as possible.
Now it's your turn. Take the LUMPYPoll below (this one really works!) and tell us what you think. What is in LUMPY's future? The whole world is watching!
LUMPY TAKES SECOND AT "FIESTA DAYS" IN McHENRY
JEFF THE REF AND PAL "CHAZ" ARE DIFFERENCE MAKERS
(July 16 - McHenry) -- LUMPY made the most their time with Jeff The Ref, as the world-famous Ref teamed up with one of his best-looking friends, Chaz, to power the LUMPY machine to a second place finish at McHenry's "Fiesta Days." Jeff and Chaz replaced Dave and Noreen, who were scarcely missed. While the play of LUMPY was outstanding, most of the crowd's comments centered on the remarkably good-looking Chaz. Phrases like "washboard Abs," rippling muscles," and "remarkably good-looking" filled the air all weekend. Congratulation,, LUMPY...and congratulations, Chaz!
LUMPY GETS VERBAL COMMITMENT FROM JEFF THE REF!
WORLD FAMOUS SPIKER TO JOIN TEAM FOR "FIESTA DAYS"
(July 9) -- LUMPY recruiting coordinator Norb pulled off what has to be the volleyball recruiting coup of the young century this past week, by obtaining a verbal commitment from Jeff the Ref to play in the upcoming McHenry "Fiesta Days" tournament. Faced with a lack of available bodies for the July 15-16 tournament (Dave and Noreen will be out of town), Norb rolled the dice and made his play for the Big Kahuna himself! "I figured I'd give it a shot," said Norb. "What the heck, the worst that could happen would be he'd say no. Actually, I guess the worst that could happen is that he'd laugh at me and say no. Come to think of it, he probably could have pointed at me and ridiculed me in front of his volleyball buddies. Geez, what was I thinking? Oh well, I guess it turned out OK in the end, though."
Ref (aka "Jeff Post"), when reached for comment had this to say: "I said I'd play with them? Huh? Yeah, I guess I did. Man, I'll tell you what, they better have their game together if they want to play with me, baby! I expect to win this thing! You gonna finish that beer?"
Norb still has one female scholarship to give, of course, and rumor has centered on the peripatetic Liz, although sources close to the team consider this to be unlikely route for LUMPY to take. Just the thought of the genetic sweepstakes involved in a Liz/Ref pairing have started tongues wagging in the LUMPY camp. Would the world be able to handle a 6'11" spiking machine who yelled non-stop in an affable yet street-smart patois? Probably not.
Basketball recruiting guru Bob Gibbons gave his two cents on the matter as well. "This has to be considered a serious attempt to raise LUMPY's profile in the local volleyball community. Jeff the Ref brings an excellent package of skills to the table. Setting, hitting, passing, jump serving, he brings it all and he keeps bringing it until the last dog is dead. What remains to be seen is if his new teammates will be able to raise their game to his level. If they can, the gap-toothed hordes in McHenry will see some serious volleyball. By the way, you do realize that I'm a basketball guru, right? OK, just so you know where I'm coming from.
LUMPY DUO BIDS DOLE ADIEU
(June 24) -- The Illinois unemployment insurance system breathed a sigh of relief last week, as LUMPY stalwarts Norb and Kerry both found gainful employment and once again took their turns on the endless wheel in the cage and the search for the cheese and the...ahh you know what I mean, they got jobs! Both made the most of their idleness, though. Kerry made with the Martha Stewart bit, endlessly cleaning and scrubbing, wallpapering and painting. Funny how the house doesn't look any different, though. Hmmm. Anyway, Norb also made with the wallpapering and painting, and...aww, who am I trying to kid? He sat on his butt most of the day eating cheese curls, listening to early 80's hair bands on the stereo and biding his time until the next volleyball game. Now, however, he's busy at American Digital reinventing the way in which high-end server-based network solutions are flogged to the sorts of people who might have a need for such things. The rest of the work-a-day world says to Norb and Kerry, "welcome back...we missed you.......pick up that wrapper."
LUMPY MOM BIDS KID ADIEU
(June 24) -- How's this for one-note headline writing? LUMPY mom Mary bade a tearful goodbye to her first-born this week, as Master Norbert Robert Wojcik III beat tracks to Dubuque, Iowa and some kind of sports camp. The question on everyone's mind, though, was why young Master Wojcik didn't "study" volleyball at this camp? Is this just some type of "pre-teen rebellion?" Or might he actually consider being obsessed with something other than volleyball? Let's just hope it's merely a passing case of rejecting his parents' lifestyle.
NIGEL FAN BASE SWELLS, NIGEL SWELLS IN RESPONSE
(June 24) -- NIGEL's most recent outing (June 22) was well attended by fans and well-wishers, as well as scores of passing strangers. While NIGEL's effort was top-notch, the effort of the faithful was top-notch as well. LUMPY members Noreen, Mary and Kerry were in attendance, as well as Dan's wife, Mary. Crys of support such as "nice try," "get up," and "what's he doing that for?" filled the air. NIGEL thanks you for the support, ladies!